“I have some good news to tell”
“I am pregnant!”
And you may see wow faces, astonished to hear those words ears, and hearts beating fast. That’s the response which you get after announcing. People start taking care of you, provide you with eatables on a chair, ask you not to work more, not to stress more, your cravings are satisfied and moods are taken care of.
All this pampering is for that little one, that lives in you. But after giving birth, the visitors amplify, and you have to give time to all – the visitors and the newborn. The visitors want to see the baby, want to take in their arms, try to make them smile (which turns out to make them cry), and just giggle with you.
But wait, isn’t that getting too much for you?
You have just entered a new life, in which you are responsible for someone’s life.
Doesn’t that take time to adjust?
Is the mob over you always keeping you calm?
This is known as an overbearing family. Mothers are usually overloaded with suggestions, directions, and advice during pregnancy and after childbirth. You have grown up in a family where you are guided at every stage by your parents, siblings and extended family; but growing big, those suggestions just dole up, whether you have asked for it or not. But after childbirth, that advice just comes out to be overbearing, where the advice isn’t just advice, but as to what you have to do.
As a new parent, you have been struggling with yourself, to adjust with sleepless nights and sleepy days, changing nappies, feedings, and adjusting to a new life. Moreover, the addition of an overbearing family makes your life more difficult. It’s good to seek advice, but only when you need it.
When it’s not needed and still imposed, it becomes tough. Whilst setting up strict boundaries may hamper your family relations.
So here are some easy ways in which you can avoid an overbearing family, and be at your peace of mind.
- Set up time boundaries for visitors: It’s important to know that you and your child need time to get back to this new world, and for you to adjust. So it’s not always that you will be available for visitors. Set a time in which you can meet your relatives; and when it’s done, just say a word of thank you and let them leave. With this, you get enough time with your child to feed and also give the child the comfort to adjust to a new world.
- Key to your problem is communication: When you are not comfortable to take your child outside the house, or not comfortable bringing in front of visitors, just communicate the same with your family members. They will help figure out or even avoid those meets. You are the one who knows when the baby needs what. So set a timeline and make a decision for your new family. Communicating this same with extended family is necessary, for them to understand and support you.
- Do the thing in which you are comfortable: Every child is different, so the way of parenting is also different. You know how your child will react, so don’t change your decisions because of others. It’s okay to be different. It’s good to listen to advice, agree with them, but do what’s right for you and your child. Because it’s you who’s responsible for goods and even bad.
- Priorities for your baby: Days are hard after delivery. You have to adjust to a new normal. Your baby does the same. So the late light parties, gatherings, are to be kept away. This is just because you need to give your new family time. It’s to make yourself and the child happy, rather than others. Days for caring for a baby won’t come back, inculcation of good values, and that affection coming from a new mom won’t come back the same. So prioritizing a new family is necessary.
- Be kind: When it comes to your new family and family that you already had, you have to handle them with kindness. If their suggestions are irritating, do not burst out in anger. Instead, take a deep breath, handle the situation with calmness. Thank them for the best advice which you implemented, and then just ask them not to fire you with other stuff. They also want the best for your child, so understanding them and handling things properly, will keep relations positive.
- Ask your partner to lead the way: When you are overwhelmed with responsibilities, sometimes it’s good to ask your partner to lead your way. Your partner knows his family from the start, so give him a chance to convince his family to be gentle on you, instead of you yourself going and harboring resentment. You and your partner should be in sync, for you both to come up strongly.
- Understanding your extended family’s perspective: The family wants the best for the new one. So if they are caring enough and doing regular child care, just let them. This can halve your stress and some responsibilities. Making your child sleep, watch TV, or play with them; isn’t going to hamper you. Take a rest at that time. That will turn out to be a good relaxing time for you and a good time with your child for your extended family.
- Don’t allow all decisions to overrule you: When they say, “It’s okay to drink whisky”, but you are told to avoid it by your doctor, just avoid it. It’s not necessary, what is okay for them is okay with you. Just walk away and follow your gut or doctor’s recommendations.
- Try not to ask for too many favors: Your family has its own way of living, don’t make them feel that they are ruled by you after a new member. Leaning on your extended family always may be toxic to your relationship with them. Go slow with all the things, never overload others with your responsibilities. If they are happy to help sometimes, let them; but don’t push their limits for small little things.
Family drama is the toughest part. Some good advice may save your relations and help you communicate what’s up with you. So seeking some help? DoyaCare has a team of professional counselors and therapists, who are completely invested in the wellbeing of you and your family.
They can give you clarity which you won’t be able to find alone, and are non-judgmental so that you can share every detail with them. You will be able to communicate better and have good strategies that make your relations easy to handle.
Request a referral from your doctor. Finding help for an emotional wellness issue can also help you with your care. Ascertain that you are in the care of Safe Hands.
We provide Personalized, Class Leading Care Taker Services for specialized cases like:
- Normal Baby Care
- Twin Baby Care
- Premature Baby Care
- Low Weight Baby Care
- Mother Care
Disclaimer: This website’s content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Such information is provided solely for educational purposes and is not intended to be a substitute for the advice of a doctor or qualified health care professional.
Get more information by visiting www.doyacare.com